Luella: RMs who served in a 3rd world country, Premies who admire a Crocodile Dundee, 8the grade boys, and fat chicks who hang out with the guys
Frank: All the dumb kids who waited in line for three days for the world premiere of Brave Heart Vs Lord of the Rings, vs Harry Potter and the sorcerer's rotting flesh pig baby fetus.
Mr. Hamadryas: Vampires who want to test their resolve against lusting after human blood.
Mr. Hamadryas: Vampires who want to test their resolve against lusting after human blood.
Quick Plot
Luella: Persia rages war against Sparta. Leonidas (Gerard Butler) decides to answer the call of the fight. However, that doesn't mean that there are roadblocks (or bodies) along the way.
Frank: Little kids raised by free, meat-eating, rotten parents trained to kill, kill, Kill. The Persians pick a fight and the Spartans have to defend their honor with their carnivorous, prideful, 300 best warriors of Sparta. Good Riddens to them, nobody liked them anyway.
Mr. Hamadryas: Zack Snyder is a grown up fanstastic, violent, little boy who loves gore and also enjoys seeing his name, and you know it. Kudos.
Mr. Hamadryas: Zack Snyder is a grown up fanstastic, violent, little boy who loves gore and also enjoys seeing his name, and you know it. Kudos.
Review
Luella: If Al Capone, the Odyssey, and Cirque du Soleil had a baby, it would be 300. It is a gory, bloody, ballerina mess of fighting. Add the slow-motion, and you've pinned it down. Despite all this, I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't really that bad. The beginning sort of startled me when I saw a little seven year old beat the bloody pulp out of another, but after that, it sort of was better.
The part that really upset me was Leonidas' relationship with his wifey, Queen Gorgo (Lena Hedley). Before he leaves, she says, "Come back to me with your shield, or your head on it." Now that's love. As Leonidas looks as her, the narrator of the film basically said, "Spartans don't say 'I love you.'" (Okay, he didn't say it that way, but you get it.) Meanwhile, near the end, while a blanket of arrows are flinging toward Leonidas, he says, "I love my wife."
Too bad she wasn't there to hear it.
Frank: Help me, I'm trapped in a movie with sweaty bulky speedo-wearing, flesh eating, Hand painted chests and abs, and they are killing everything from babies to Stephen Hawking! But they do it with style, while being mostly naked. That's all that really counts. Man, if anyone asked me to run around in a loin cloth with sharp objects, and nothing but a shield for cover, I would only do it for 300 Persian gold coins, and maybe a pet crab handed man that severs heads for fun. Overall, it was an okay flick, but man, I was getting a little tired of them trying too hard to be cool while they kill, only I can do that.
Mr. Hamadryas: Okay so the fighting was entertaining, the story was there, the plot was there, antagonist, protagonist, blah blah blah. All there, plus a lot of violence, in fact a party of violence, betrayal, loyalty, and the strange concept that to love is to be a violent, near perfect killer. So all that makes this in my opinion a great guy movie. But there is one big thing that bugs me. Granted, we rented an edited version, (I'm sorry if your political views on editing copyrighted materials prohibit that, but get over it.) so maybe we don't have all the story. But from what we had, this 'immortal god' Xerxes has this massive persian army with many different nationalities and species playing a part. Fun. When he talks it sounds cool, plus he is extraordinarily tall. Fun. Not to mention he is the most pompous semi-naked villain I know of. Fine. Nothing wrong so far but at the end (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Leonidas tosses a spear at him and cuts Xerxes' face, thus drawing blood. Fine. But somehow the millions of Xerxean followers don't seem phased that their immortal god is bleeding, let alone got hit by a spartan spear. Bleeding and immortal? Not fine. The part that bugs me is that a year later, Van Helsing's monk is leading the Spartans and Greeks against the Forces of Xerxes. How does that not destroy their confidence in Xerxes!?!? Big plot failure- luckily this doesn't happen until the very end of the flick. Thus allowing us to enjoy the rest of the movie.
Mr. Hamadryas: Okay so the fighting was entertaining, the story was there, the plot was there, antagonist, protagonist, blah blah blah. All there, plus a lot of violence, in fact a party of violence, betrayal, loyalty, and the strange concept that to love is to be a violent, near perfect killer. So all that makes this in my opinion a great guy movie. But there is one big thing that bugs me. Granted, we rented an edited version, (I'm sorry if your political views on editing copyrighted materials prohibit that, but get over it.) so maybe we don't have all the story. But from what we had, this 'immortal god' Xerxes has this massive persian army with many different nationalities and species playing a part. Fun. When he talks it sounds cool, plus he is extraordinarily tall. Fun. Not to mention he is the most pompous semi-naked villain I know of. Fine. Nothing wrong so far but at the end (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Leonidas tosses a spear at him and cuts Xerxes' face, thus drawing blood. Fine. But somehow the millions of Xerxean followers don't seem phased that their immortal god is bleeding, let alone got hit by a spartan spear. Bleeding and immortal? Not fine. The part that bugs me is that a year later, Van Helsing's monk is leading the Spartans and Greeks against the Forces of Xerxes. How does that not destroy their confidence in Xerxes!?!? Big plot failure- luckily this doesn't happen until the very end of the flick. Thus allowing us to enjoy the rest of the movie.
Awkward Moment
Luella: David Bowie's Iggy Stardust days were the primary influence for King Xerxes' makeup. I mean, here's
the real Xerxes:
the real Xerxes:Here's 300's version:
"Have a neckrub on me, Leonidas
Also, there is a goat-man playing an instrument. It's meant to be taken seriously
Frank: Oh, there are so many to choose from, but my favorite would definitely have to be when Xerxes comes riding in on his million ton golden staircase, (That was very flamboyant of him to do), and he steps off only to give king Leonidas a sensual backrub, trying to bribe him into his kingdom. Awkward!!! What's more, is I feel really bad for the guy in the center underneath the golden staircase, what if everyone ran out, or got slaughtered by a miscellaneous Spartan. He is sitting there under all this weight, and one by one his friends are being hacked in half, and who is left holding the stairs now? (SQUASH!!!)(followed by, Blooop, thppbpbpbpbt) Just a random thought in a random part of the movie.
<----Luella's Butts
Total Baboon Butts
<----Luella's Butts
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