Speed 2

Who'd Wanna see it?

Mr. Hamadryas: Those who have heard nothing about it.
Luella: Rednecks who appreciate professional wrestling and Monster trucks.
Frank: Birds. They'll watch it, regret watching it, and then due to their short memory span, they'll watch it again. Also leeches, they're into that sort of thing.

Plot:
Mr. Hamadryas: Sandra Bullock and her man have some relationship issues, develop that relationship by going through another wirlwind adventure on a cruise. He is the cool cop who wants to take the situation to the next level and she is, well, super-ditzy.
Luella: Annie (Bullock) and New Man (Patric) set off on the high seas to kindle a romance of seven months. Unfortunately, a disgruntled, leech-lovin', former employee decides to kick things up a "knots." (Ha ha ha)
Frank: I can't really put my finger on it, but I guess there was something about a boat and speed, and a fat lady, other than that... just a bunch of special effects.

Our thoughts:

Mr. Hamadryas: A pet peeve of mine is when these movies try to enrich the excitement by throwing in the occasional fruitbasket who freaks out and causes more problems. Speed 2 takes that to the extreme. 'I have a great idea! lets freak out and see how many people we can get killed because of our loss of sanity in a time of crisis!'. I am not bitter. I may have just wasted 2 bucks, and 2 hours of my life but I am not bitter.
Has there ever been more cheese in a movie? yes. But that show was Stewart Little. Dramatic poses, unrealistic stupidity, bad guy inconsistency- such as he wanted to kill everyone but couldn't kill his annoying hostage.
So they crash the ship into an island - oops spoiler- get over it. And somehow a cruise ship with a 30 foot draft makes it all the way into the town. At 17 knots- roughly 20 mph- the ship gracefully beaches itself with bow into a hotel, passing through an oversized bottle (cristening) and comes to a stop as the tip of the ship rings a maritime bell, signifying that it has docked. As it stops there is a gentleman whose car is underneath the anchor that previously failed to release- one guess is all that is needed for what is next. People, if you are after a terribly predictable action flick, with stunning special effects that get cheapened by pathetic humor and failed characters, and concluding by the most predictable move on the part of the hero, then Speed 2 is the show for you.
Luella: Frank and I had seen Speed 1 a couple weeks back, and I was surprised Mr. Reeves did not return to this new flick. Why did he bow out?

He wanted to save his career, that's why.

After personal reflection and medication--er--meditation, I still do not see why this movie was greenlighted to go. What in the world happened in the planning rooms?
"So, Speed 1, that was pretty good."
"Yeah, there should be a sequel. Or something."
"Huh? Whaddya mean? How do you make a sequel about a bomb on a bus?"
"Easy. Put it on a boat."
"A boat?"
"Yeah, a cruise ship. And the villain can have leeches sucking on him."
"Dan, you're a genius! This is better that our idea for Gremlins 4!"

Thus it was born.

Mr. H. did a good job explaining the absolute nonsense. I totally agree with him here.

Frank: Okay, okay, okay... So, there were a few minor continuity issues happening almost every ten minutes in the show. Shoes or no shoes, dress or no dress: I mean, who cares if you are trying to make a second speed movie just so long as the vehicle is hijacked by some crazed nerd with an axe to grind, and Sandra Bullock makes an appearance. The relationship between this so-called sequal and the first movie is about as close as the Earth is to the Moon. In fact it should be the satire version, you know, like all thos abnoxious, "Scary movie/Date Movie"shows.
The movie reaks of ninties fashion and kickbuttish attitudes. Of course you have the hot shot know-it-all boy friend who knows how to rewire an exploding hijacked boat, and like Mr. H mentions in his reiew, those crazy extras that have to scream at everything and make the situations all intense. Talk about Awkward in the boat! My main beef with the film had to be Sandra Bullocks Detached from reality Character. The whole time she kept nagging the boyfriend about this and that, and man she gets pretty whiny.

Awkward Moment:
Luella: While this ship is crashing into the marina, a couple is holding each other tight. The lady looks up at her big, strong man. You'd think she'd say something like, "Baby, I love you" or "Please, let this be over" or "Honey, are you okay?" or "Sweetheart, I'm scared, hold me." No. She says to him, "Why did this have to happen on our honeymoon?" Yes. She is about to die, but is complaining at the very, very end. I can only imagine her husband's thoughts during this comment.
Frank: Despite the fat lady appearing on screen everytime they needed to add to the rediculous half-hour ship-beaching sequnece, there were only a handful of other awkward moments. There is the time that ten people are trapped in a room that is vented with sulfar smoke, and they all get nekad to cover the vents with their clothes, while Sandra Bullock chainsaws the door with her wanny, picture-taken sidekick's help, (or lack thereof ) And as soon as she gets the door open she just sits there reving the chainsaw just inches from a nekad bald guy's head. This scene lasted disgustingly long.

Overall Butts (13) Avg. 4.33333 butts
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